A part of my family is gone: My Father, Yunus S. Kagalwala

Yunus Salehbhoy Kagalwala (20/05/1934 to 6/10/2012)

Over twenty-four hours have passed since the passing away of my father Mr. Yunus S. Kagalwala. A life-time of memories is impossible to capture in a blog post, and for the past several hours, images of him as a parent flash before my inner eye. I have mixed feelings for him, for he was a terror as a father to young children. He often resorted to corporal punishment to make my brother and me toe the line. He was singularly unfortunate in financial matters, and hence, even as a teenager, I was able to understand his angst. I still remember him handing us a single 10 paisa coin every day as we (my brother Kaizar and I) set off for school, ostensibly to purchase our bus tickets. In reality, I used to walk the entire stretch to school (about a km and a half) and use the money to buy stuff that is normally proscribed and hence, much sought after, e.g. jiragoli, spinning toys, black and white zebra golis, saunf embellished with colourful coverings of sugar, etc.

Dad (left) with his youngest brother Idris ... an old picture.

His was a method of discipline that brooked no nonsense, but mostly, I steered clear of his hands, as I was more into indoors, reading, studying, etc. Moreover, I was not a very picky eater, and ate whatever was made. My mother passed away when I was about 11 years old, and my dad re-married a cousin sister of my mom, Shirin Savliwala, and it is she who brought us up for the last 40 plus years. Considering the circumstances, my dad and she did a great job of making me a qualified Pediatrician, and settling both my younger brothers after getting them properly educated. For this I will be ever grateful, and would like to appreciate his steadfastness in making us what we are today. 

Over the years, he mellowed and began to be a little less belligerent and more compromising in his attitudes, but he continued to enjoy life - his hobbies being addiction to radio music in the pre-television days, and then, the idiot box - with its countless forms of musical, sport and news-related entertainment. Besides all this, was his love for the written word. He preserved old newspapers as if they were treasure, and it was only in the last few months after he became seriously ill that he gave up on these, and gave us a chance to throw away these - some of them as old as from the late 1940s. I guess I have some of his habit in me, as I do tend to preserve interesting cuttings from printed matter. Also, he used to sketch very well, and write too. I have come across his scrap book in which there were several hand-drawings and essays on diverse topics such as "If I were the Prime Minister ..." to "Autobiography of ..." etc. I guess I got his sketching and writing genes too!

My dad's tastes were simple, but he enjoyed travelling. In the year 2011, at my initiation, our entire family went to Alibaug for two days, and, at least for me, these were the best two days of our family for as long as I can remember. We were present in full, i.e. my parents, all three of us brothers and our entire families. Photos of this outing can be seen on my Facebook profile (Taher Kagalwala). Earlier, I don't think we went out much, but I have pleasant memories of us going to a couple of places, viz. Mahad, and Mahableshwar. While the Mahableshwar trip was in the eighties, the Mahad trip was in the nineties, and he had a great time at both these places. 

My only regret will be that I could not send him for Umrah or Hajj due to the lack of opportunities and also because he was not too keen to go. In the end, I performed Umrah for him (i.e. in his name) a few months ago, and prayed to Allah to send him the blessings for the same.

I will miss him, and for sure, my mom will. May his soul rest in peace till the Day of Judgement, and may Allah grant him a place in Heaven thereafter. Amen.

A cousin, a doctor and a gentleman is no more: Dr. Altaf Savliwala

A dear colleague of mine, Dr. Altaf Savliwala, son of Safakathusein and Sofi S. Savliwala, a Pediatrician by profession, and a soft-spoken and gentle human being, died on Sunday, 8/12/2008 in the early hours of the morning due to a massive heart attack. I came to know him about 36 years ago, when I was but a boy of 13. I still remember his soft-spoken nature and kindliness. When a particularly nasty illness struck me at the age of 15, he was studying to be a doctor at the Seth G.S. Medical College and the K.E.M. Hospital. It was he who got me evaluated by his boss (Dr. P.D. Anjaria), and looked after all my needs over the next several visits to the hospital.

Eventually, I was to study medicine and pediatrics in the same medical institutes and pass out in 1986. Over the years, I came to know more and more that he was a gem of a person. Never one to show anger publicly (or privately to me or anyone not of his immediate family) or create any form of friction between him and others, Altaf was the epitome of geniality, cordialness and humility.

I salute this kind soul who Allah called to His presence rather prematurely and early. He was only 54, physically trim, and healthier than most middle-aged people I know; also, he was a calm and careful person, and it seems cruel that Allah should snatch him from among us with the first cardiac arrest of his life.

Altaf left behind his wife Fatema, daughters Tasneem and Zahara and grand-daughter Umme-Hani (born of Tasneem and her husband Ali-Asgar).

May his soul rest in Peace.

Mufaddal adds this:

In continuation to Dr. Taher's views, Dr. Altaf's death has left a deep void in my life. Altaf was a thorough gentleman, well matured, cool and composed person. I remember all the good days that I had the pleasure of spending with him during my visits to Lonavala.

Fate has dealt us a very hard and a nasty blow and snatched away from us a great human being. I pray that his soul rests in Peace and God give strength to Fatema, Tasneem and Zahra to cope up with this tragedy.

A family grieves, and moves on

When a person dies, a part of the family he was in also dies. Irretrievably. I have often wondered how people who lose their near and dear ones come to terms with the irreparable loss. I sawthis happen with Idris uncle's death. His eldest sister and elder brother both must have felt his passing away quite a lot. While the sister gave vent to her grief openly, his brother (my father) took it stoically in his stride. He did not cry or grieve openly. There were others who had tears in their eyes; some cried on seeing the face of the dear departed; others came in crying, their eyes already blood-shot and their mien disturbed.

After listening to many of those present, an image of a fun-loving, benevolent and kind person arose before my mind's eye. Several of those present said they would miss his easy banter, his helpful nature and his sunny disposition. So will I, and I cannot say I was as close to him as some of the others were.

After the completion of the third day's formalities, the members departed, and it was on the next day that his two sons came in from the Gulf (Juzer) and the U.S. (Qusai). They will never get to see their dad as they weren't around in his last moments. Their grief will pass, too.

And life will move on.