Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Forgiving someone

Purely on merits, forgiving is something that occurs innately to some, and not so naturally to others. If you account for difference between the sexes, Mars is more often forgiving than Venus is, but when Venus does forgive, it is an eternal forgiveness filled with sympathy and love for the one who is finally and fully forgiven. With men, often forgiving is easy, but at the root of such a posturing, men often retain the grouse that originally caused the relations to fray. This retaining of the grouse causes them to behave with restraint and continue to harbour ill-feeling towards the one whom they have publicly forgiven.

I have often done this myself. To give you an example, I had a friend who publicly denounced me over 25 years ago over a small misunderstanding. Within days, he had apologised, and I too forgave him his behaviour. We were together in medical college for several more years, and then, after that, drifted away, he migrating to the US of A and I, continuing to practice in India. Whenever I remember him, I smile inwardly, but I also have a tinge of anger when I recall the way he shouted at me and degraded me in front of our peers.

Why do I continue to feel that way even after over two decades? And I always thought that it is women who keep a grudge for ever ...

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